If there’s one thing we have as women, its opinions. I’d like to issue a friendly reminder to Catholic wives and mothers that personal opinions on motherhood and issues of morality are two different things.
In other words: mind your own motherhood!
A holy mother has many faces, friends. She may wear different hats. They may be hats you don’t think look good on her.
A holy mother may not breastfeed, use cloth diapers or co-sleep. Or she may. A holy mother may make the baby cry it out. Or not. She may send six kids to public school or stay home full-time and home school one.
There are some popular phrases that some women have been using as weapons on fellow mothers:
“We are the first and primary educators of our children” is slug like mud at mothers who send children to school.
We are the first and primary educators of our children. Education is an important and private discernment process where God may reveal his will in differing ways.
“I could NEVER leave MY kids,” is casually said to mothers who leave the home for work, implying they love their children less than mothers who stay home.
That mother may not be able to leave her kids because she may be called to be home. This does not make her calling superior or her children “better off” then those of a mother who leaves.
I’ve recently been noticing an elitist attitude from stay-at-home (and some school-at -home) mothers in my life and in the media and blog world.
It is only “acceptable” for a mother to be called to work outside of the home if it is financially necessary for her family. When that time passes she can go home, where she “should” be.
Mother’s who leave the home to work even though she doesn’t need to financially may indeed be called to a mission in the world in addition to her vocation at home.
A holy mother may set her college degrees aside and stay home with her children full-time. She may make her husband lunch and have dinner ready when he returns home. A holy mother may have a husband who does laundry and cleans the kitchen.
A holy mother may work outside the home – whether or not her family needs the money.
A holy mother discerns her life putting her vocation as wife and mother first. Her discernment is between herself, her husband and the Lord. A holy mother will do so with a formed conscience. What she is called to is divinely perfect.
Who are we to question how and why God calls anyone, mother or not?
Our thoughts of each other are so disordered they’ve been exploited and are used as entertainment in the blogs and media sources.
Stop it! We’re making Christian motherhood look bad – as if we can’t handle our vocation. It’s embarrassing and shameful.
Mind your own motherhood.
Let’s stop tearing each other down and looking down our noses at those God has called to our same vocation. We’ve got the same goal, friends! Let’s serve each other in the absence of judgment with encouragement and support so we can best serve our vocations.
Mind your own motherhood. I’ll try to do the same.
|Mama and bottle-fed baby